Ms. (sometimes) Independent

Dear Mai, 

As I was walking Tito this morning before work I was reminiscing on how much our lives have changed with you. In particular when I saw this on the table this morning.

Now when I say our lives changed, they indeed have but Mommy and I are still pretty much the same people. You've just blended nicely into our lives. But Mommy and I would have thought "NOOO" if someone said our house was going to be filled with all things frozen and whatever other toy has it's 15 minutes of fame 10 years ago. But, as you are probably well aware, Mommy and I are pretty laid back and tend to just "roll with it" when it comes to life. Seeing this this morning made me a little sad. There is going to be a day when our house ISN'T filled with these things and that will make me sad. 

Today is one of the first overcast days here in Seattle in like 3 months. Maybe the grey is having its affect on me too.

We've come along way since our first discussion about chores and earning money. This weekend we hit a milestone. You had enough (or at least almost enough) money to buy your first item all by yourself. You bought a Sophia playset. 

You've been asking for this thing for months. Every time we go to target you show us. Lately when you see if or one of the other bazillion things you want you say "I WANT THIS!!! I guess I better earn more money." So the day finally came and you paid the cashier and you walked out of Target one proud little girl. I thought for sure once we opened it it was just going to collect dust and it would be over. Boy was I wrong. You've been playing with those things every waking moment you have. Before you go to bed or take a nap you have to bring some with you so you can play with them the first thing when you wake up. (and you do) We went to a party this weekend and you had to take something from the play set. You take something on all of our errands we run and you left for school this morning with one of the characters proudly in your hand. Money well spent I would say.

Last night we were talking and you said one of the kids in your school (daycare) was starting kindergarten and wasn't going to Ms. Rivini's anymore. 

Daddy: "Oh. So when are you going to start kindergarten?"

Maya: (looks inquisitively at Mommy) "A few days?" (You have no concept of time yet and it's hilarious)

Mommy: "Two years."

Maya: (looks confidently at Daddy) "TWO YEARS!"

Maya: (looks back at Mommy) "I'm going to stay with you for two more years Mommy."

We've been having conversations about you doing more things on your own because you want to grow up to be a independent girl. You've been responding with "But Mommy! I want to stay with you for ever and ever." In fact we got some video of you saying that to black mail you when the day comes when you want to move out of the house because we're so lame.

It's a fine balance right now. You are a strong independent girl in many ways. You like to wear sun glasses at night and pose so we can send videos to Grandma.

You have definite opinions about what clothes you wear. I tried to put a Metallica shirt on you yesterday and you absolutely refused to wear it. You're also really into wearing two different shoes these days, depending on your mood.

But in other ways you're still SUPER dependent. You hate to dress yourself

and we had a knock down, drag-out issue about eating your corn on the cob by yourself last night. You LOVE corn on the cob but you hate to get your hands messy so you want us to hold it for you while you eat. After a small crisis, you finally agreed to eat it on your own because you could DEVOUR it and you thought that was funny.

Independent does not equal mature and that is okay.

Now I realize it is 100% our fault this happens... because we do. We're aware of this and are actively trying to not do as much for you and encourage you to do more on your own. 

It's hard for me Mai. I want to do things for you because I love you so much. I realize that won't help you at all in the long run. I'm still learning as I go here. It's going to be hard letting go of "my little baby" but I love seeing the awesome little independent girl you're becoming. Girl power Mai. Girl Power!

Love


Daddy