Dear Mai,
All this growing up business is for the birds. You think you're pretty cool these days with your slick talk and your confidence growing right along with your height. Just be careful; you have funny, funny parents. I remember when your mother and I were first married many, many moons ago (or like 14 years or something like that), we used to watch late night TV together. You'll know you're in a good relationship when you like each other's company so much you stay up late watching or doing something dumb just to hang out together, but I digress. I remember watching old episodes of this sitcom called "Roseanne." We used to say to each other, "someday if we have a kid we're going to model our parenting style on Roseanne and Dan." Unfortunately for you it comes all too natural for us.
Maya: "Daddy, can I please play with your phone?"
Daddy: "No sweetie, the battery is almost dead and it needs charging. Besides it is past bedtime."
Maya: (going for the oscar) "I won't play with a phone ever again! You never let me do nothing!"
Daddy: "First off, you mean I never let you do anything and second drop the tude or you won't be playing my phone ever again for reals."
Maya: (now with almost real tears) "I'm LEAVING! I'm going to get my stuff, pick up Emma and we're going to California!"
Daddy: "Can you take Tito too? He's being a pain in the tookus tonight too. Mommy and I will meet you down there later."
Maya: (storms off in more frustration than a 4 y/o should ever have)
Daddy: (finishes his dinner in peace)
Then much later when the whole California thing didn't pan out, we're getting ready for bed. Mommy and I are playing a ferocious game of words with friends with each other while laying in bed waiting for you to pick out a book.
Maya: "You two need to make up. seriously. give each other a hug and stop fighting."
Mommy: "We're not fighting. I'm just kicking your Daddy's butt!" (She's not by the way)
Maya: "Just give each other a hug please"
Mommy: (exchanging hugs with your awesome Daddy whispers some of dopest smack talk you can deliver while hugging and whispering)
Maya: "I heard that. That's not making up."
Mommy: "What? We made up. What did you hear?"
Maya: "I will DESTROY you! Surely you can make up better than that."
Daddy: "I suppose we can sweetie. Just don't call me Shirley."
Maya: (Laughs but is obviously frustrated) "No. I said SURE-LY."
Daddy: "Right. That's not my name. Don't call me Shirley"
Maya: "UGH! No. Its like 'FOR REAL' for real and Surely mean the same thing?"
Daddy: "You mean someone has the name 'For Real'? And please stop calling me Shirley. Seriously."
Maya: (storms off in total frustration)
Mommy: "Back to plan California?"
Mommy and Daddy erupt in fits of laughter and continue the bitter words with friends game.
This is only the beginning hot shot. Not only are we funny but we're masters of sarcasm. You might not know what sarcasm is yet. You know what I always say about things you don't know; practice, practice, practice. Unfortunately you might be on the wrong end of sarcasm practice for a bit.
Its all in good fun my sweet little princess. We're actually probably creating a monster with our "good fun" but hey, nobody's perfect. It's just so much fun messing with little kids!
In other news you and I hit another all ages concert at the record store. You made a boyfriend at the show. Let's hope that's not a trend. At one point you and him were standing on the side and he started giving you a belly-bump. I was thinking wow. That's inappropriate. Starting a mosh pit at an acoustic rock show. His dad scolded him: "Dude! Never, ever give a girl a belly-bump. Ever!"
Mama has two days off with you a week and takes you everywhere. I could post all day long and still not keep up with all your activities. Most recently you and baby Finley like playing together at the various kid play zones in the area. It's so weird for me seeing you as the big kid.
We're having fun kiddo. Please know that if you're reading this at some point in your crazy teen years and get all made at us we love you very much. We also love to have fun but we like to mix the two up sometimes.
Love you very much kiddo,
Daddy